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November 8, 2016

The Future Needs Us NOW.

Besides CBT, this project has helped me through 2016.

My animation skills and intuition improved a great deal over 5 months. I was able to free up my mind space, playing to my strengths designing a speculative campaign that will tie in with Series 10 next Spring. If there ever will be a Spring.

On-location set visits and social events gave me that push to develop an idea into something special. The production also brought me back to my days at university; I was able to recapture that buzzing feeling I’d get from the most enjoyable, inspiring lectures. Those were the days.

It had been the wall I’ve been punching through for quite a while, yet there were many joyous days spent making what now looks like a lively launch trailer that sells the message of being a positive influence and the promise of new adventures.

It feels like a warm cwtch, one that we all need.

Although the book isn’t quite closed on it yet – a 20-second ident is yet to be designed but that shouldn’t take long – I just wanted to get it done and spread the word.

I mean, anything can happen. Get busy living or busy dying.

I’ve been speaking to Nana about things. She says don’t dwell on them too much. This is the most tense 24 hours of every citizen’s life – anyone/thing with a postcode and a brain – and Nana’s chill about it. From her view, it’s reactionary and life goes on. Worrying doesn’t help. It’s the consequences that scare me. If the majority make the wrong decision (again, but in another territory), future generations live with that. A domino effect.

Soon after my uncle’s passing, I broke down in tears. Even back then, I was filled with anger and dread at the possibility of a nation/world run by a bully. How could somebody so foul ever exist? That thought was one of the triggers that sent me into a deep depression.

Big picture: how I shall spend the rest of this time and who should I spend that time with?

One wrong move could be costly.

It would be really shitty if civilisation collapsed and I never had the chance to make amends for any trouble I may have caused, even though it’s not my fault. There had been recent murmurings in the Doctor Who fandom regarding a certain Twitter hashtag. Following a set visit, it was strange what I had to deal with. Besides other commitments and activities – holiday in Cornwall, Inktober – the paranoia even stalled progress on The Future Needs Us. I felt so small and psyched out.

I recognise my weaknesses. I treat every opportunity like it’s my last, so I can be a bit full-on with requests. All I want to do is share positive experiences with the fandom. I do it because it makes people happy; timelines are often saturated with bad news/fear/negativity. It’s increasingly cold, nasty, mean-spirited on/offline. I need something to believe in. I don’t know what’s real.

Why tear something down? Because it’s easier than building?

What did I learn? Asking for many things at once can put a strain on anyone; the consequences of my actions opened me up to different sides of people; and admins have been judge/juror in a situation that is none of their business. They have no idea of the anguish I’ve been through. But I can go beyond what I have taught myself, deal with self-doubt and not let my decisions be determined by negativity, bullying or belittlement. If I can through hardships, I can get stronger.

I never fully appreciated the comfortable lifestyle my parents gifted me and my sister until now. It makes me feel alive. Happy. Grateful. Loving.

Whereas Trump is dead inside.

But I digress…

 

Many, many thanks to family, friends, the fan community, the cast and crew who have supported me on the animation. It’s had a warm reception so far…

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It’s the little things that keep me going.

Inktober helped too. I managed to draw 31 themes successfully. My favourite is:

Love Trumps Hate.

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